Okay, okay, OKAY. I'm not bringing the laptop.

Big news.

First of all...we're USING the cleaning chart thingie. Which clearly needs a better name. Let's dub it the "Sanity System." It's only day three, but things are getting crossed off, and Michael is participating, and our apartment is in a reasonable state, AND--I dare say--I think I have managed to NOT drive Michael totally nuts. Here's an example...it was his job to go grocery shopping, according to the SS, but I needed one of the things on the list for today. Since one of the rules is that I can't tell him when or how to do his tasks, I went grocery shopping. I didn't feel annoyed, because he's been doing other stuff and I recognized that it was only me that needed it done right away. And he didn't feel annoyed because he had to go rightthisminute. YAY.

I think I did drive him a bit nuts getting our apartment back together though. But it looks SO GOOD. All last night (and this morning) I kept saying, "I feel like I live in a hotel! I've always wanted to feel like that." I'm really excited. I'm just waiting for my new reading chair and ottoman to be delivered. Also, for IKEA to get my wall shelves in stock. Then I'll feel settled, I think.

Oh! But none of that was the big news. The big news is that I leave TOMORROW MORNING for this meditation retreat called "Happiness is the Way." According to the poster, we will "learn how to come back to ourselves and to discover that enlightened living is possible with the practice of mindfulness in everyday life. By learning to live our lives with awareness and clarity, we shall help to bring about peace, reconciliation, healing, and happiness to ourselves, our families, society, and the world."

Sounds good, right? The only thing is that we're not supposed to use cell phones, there's no internet access, no meat, we wake at 5:30 each morning, and...we spend most of our time in silence.

I'm terrified.

Actually, I'm considering bringing my laptop for journaling during the afternoon period for reflection. (Unless napping counts as reflection.) Part of me knows this is cheating. I want to challenge myself to really be free from technology for 5 days. But I can't really imagine journaling very well long-hand, and I really do want to write through the experience, since that's how I process things. Then again, it's not very mindful/living in the present moment if I'm journaling to capture the moment. But they leave time for reflection.

So I wrote the monks and asked about the whole laptop/journaling thing.

Someone wrote back and said if it was a necessity, I could bring it, but why not just really totally relax and enjoy the time?

Why not indeed. It's a bit of a security blanket, isn't it?

Okay, okay, OKAY. I'm not bringing the laptop.

agh.

I'll stop and buy a nice notebook and a lovely pen and you will all have to wait until next week to hear how it goes. Send good, strong, peaceful thoughts my way.

oh god.

mindfully yours,

m