Saturday, February 6, 2010

We should be suspicious, but we are mostly grateful.

Was that really just yesterday that I wrote all that disappointed, emo stuff? Hmmm.

Well, today was MUCH better.

First of all, there are only about 8 kids left in the dorm, and for reasons unknown to us, they are super quiet and let us sleep in until at least ten.  We should be suspicious, but we are mostly grateful.

I got a slow start to the day, but it wasn't very satisfying. I was still sluggish when Michael went to drive the kiddies to Harvard Square at noon thirty.  I kept trying to motivate, but I just felt so tired.  Gina said she'd come get me around 1, when Michael got back, to go to the gym.  I figured I'd just rest my eyes until she got here.  When I woke up next, it was 2pm.  Oops. I was worried I had somehow missed her, but she had just gotten caught up. I'd like to tell you that I didn't go back to sleep then, but I'd be lying.  I figured I'd just crash until she got here, and when she called to say she was only minutes away, I'd be lying if I didn't tell you I was still tired.  But the idea of her waiting outside for me was enough to get me out of bed at least.

So off we went to the gym, where I read a great article (from the 2006 January edition of Oprah--the best issues are always in January) on awakening joy and choosing happiness.  It reminded me I want to go on a meditation retreat, and it even recommended one in California. Which sounds good to me.  (Oh--you wanna know what the article said? It recommended singing every day, keeping a nourishment list of things that bring you joy, physical movement daily--whether yoga, dancing, or walking, and finding a joy buddy--a running partner while chasing happiness. Among other things.)

When we got back, Michael had to go pick the kiddies up from Harvard Square (it sure does sound like he does all the actual work around here, doesn't it? Don't be fooled).  and Gina and I started talking about this article she read. It was about the fight or flight (or freeze) response when threatened, and suggested a fourth response, often found in codependents: fawning.  Now, I've never thought of myself as codependent.  But here it's defined as the inability to express rights, needs and boundaries in relationships, and I have to say I can recognize some of that, not only in some of my relationships but also with my work.  We also started talking about our need to make the most of our environments--through endless decorating, cleaning etc. and where that comes from.  Anyway, we really got into a pretty deep conversation and it felt really good, because we really get each other and have the same interest in sort of figuring ourselves out and moving ourselves towards where we want to be. I used to have talks like these with friends all the time, but it's been a while, so it just felt really, really good.

After she left, Michael and I decided to order in some Indian food (best part of living near a city) and while we were waiting for it to get here, I finally got to call my parents in Florida.  I get to talk to my mom online fairly often, but my dad is a bit computer-avoidant still, so I haven't connected with him at all since Christmas.  Maybe that's normal for most 30-somethings, but it's not for me.  It was really good to get to catch up with both of them, and I'm excited for them to be enjoying themselves in sunny Florida.

Then our food came and we got to have a little "house" time (we have a few shows we love to watch together: House, Criminal Minds, CSI, and The Mentalist) while we devoured our Indian food.

And now I'm about to go take my 30 minutes to connect with myself. In a bath. With my magazine.

And maybe just one lil glass of dessert wine.

Meanwhile, my connecting today energized me a lot more than my trip to the gym.  And even though I'm back to feeling kinda of sluggish and tired now, I also feel vaguely satisfied.

Maybe I'll try singing in the bath. =)

9 out of 10 for today.

1 comment:

runningwiththejig said...

YAY! A great day for both of us!